By Shalini Bahl-Milne

Many wisdom traditions, as well as human-centered approaches in research, teach us that to address a problem effectively, we must first understand its root causes. Only then can we find sustainable solutions that promote the well-being of all involved.

In our own town, frustrations with how we handle problems are evident. So, what are the causes and conditions leading to conflict and confusion? Here are a few critical issues:

• Leading with Solutions: When problems arise, we often rush to fix them without digging deeper. While immediate action may be necessary in situations where harm is ongoing, it’s crucial to understand the underlying causes and conditions that allowed the situation to arise in the first place. We need to ask ourselves: Was there a breakdown in the process, its implementation, or the people involved?
• Judgment and blame: Without knowing what is causing the problem, we may be solving for the wrong problem. Questioning to gain more insight is often met with judgment and blame, which shifts the conversation away from problem-solving and leads to defensive behaviors and shutting down of dialogue.
• Not listening to lived experiences: On the other hand, dismissing people’s lived experiences is equally problematic. It’s rightfully frustrating and traumatizing for those who have been suffering and feel unheard.

A Path Forward for All: Compassionate Problem-Solving

So, can we overcome these conflict-creating tendencies? I believe a compassionate approach addresses the causes and conditions for conflict listed above. Here’s a five-step process I outlined in a previous Gazette article:

1. Take a compassionate pause: When triggered, place a hand on your heart and acknowledge your emotions and others’ emotions in the moment (e.g., grief, frustration, confusion, deep sadness for those who can’t see each other’s suffering, etc.). This awareness can help us respond constructively rather than reactively.
2. Define the Problem: What are we truly trying to solve?
3. Gather Lived Experiences: Seek input from those directly affected.
4. Investigate Root Causes: Consult experts, learn the history, and understand complexity.
5. Seek Sustainable Solutions: Formulate resolutions or policies that go beyond quick fixes and promote the well-being of all involved.

The Importance of Process Amid Diverse Perspectives

The council constitutes 13 people who use the lens shaped by their conditioning to listen and process information. Listening does not automatically mean agreeing to the solutions being suggested or demanded. We all have our own ways of processing the information we receive.

My human-centered approach to research and mindfulness-based processes requires that I listen deeply, acknowledge my biases and set them aside, and then get curious about the causes and conditions for the situation to arise so we can solve for that. The people experiencing injustices demand, and rightly so, an immediate resolution. This is where the breakdown can happen. Current Town Council processes don’t address these breakdowns.

The Town Council is swamped with work, but they need to carve out time to refine and add processes to create a fair, inclusive, and safe foundation for diverse perspectives to be heard and discussed.

Specifics for Town Council Processes

Our Council could benefit from process improvements to ensure a fair and inclusive environment:

• Set the Tone: Start meetings by acknowledging suffering and affirming respectful discussion norms.
• Clarify Limitations: Communicate legal restrictions on information the council can share.
• Invest in Training: Provide leadership, anti-racism, active listening, and de-escalation training for councilors.
• Bring in Experts: Hire ombuds or facilitators for complex situations.
• Foster Community Dialogue: Use district meetings for open forums and smaller discussions for nuance.
• Revisit the ‘Legislative Process Guide’: Co-create a compassionate process with the community that will create a safe space for all to speak and be heard. The legislative process guide is a living document that I had created during my time in Town Council with the purpose of creating an inclusive process that clarifies the steps and stakeholders’ participation in decisions the Town Council makes. It is in the Governance, Organization, and Legislation Committee. A discussion of the legislative process guide is an opportunity for the residents and businesses to give their input in shaping this document.

A Call for Reflection and Commitment

Remember, our Town Council form of government is still relatively new. While change is desired, the process of changing how we operate together requires reflection and action on everyone’s part.

This approach for problem-solving aligns with age-old principles found across spiritual and philosophical traditions and latest scientific methods—that compassionately understanding a problem is the first step towards lasting resolution. The Buddhist philosophy of the Four Noble Truths that has shaped my research and consulting teaches a similar approach: acknowledging suffering, tracing its origins, understanding the possibility of resolution, and working towards a path that ends suffering for all involved. Perhaps there’s something we can learn about modern conflict from these time-tested ideas.

I hope this article and an earlier one on this topic inspires us to reflect and discuss the obstacles to effective problem-solving, how we are contributing to it, and what solutions can address the causes and conditions for conflicts to arise in our town of caring people with good intentions. Meanwhile, the five steps of compassionate problem-solving are a good starting point. Practice and play with the approach and see for yourself. Can a compassionate approach resolve conflicts in our town?

Shalini Bahl-Milne is an award-winning mindfulness researcher and consultant, and served on the Amherst town council 2019-2023. Her latest book, “Return to Mindfulness,” draws from mindfulness teachings, research in psychology, and her experiences as a town councilor.